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Thread: Another Story of Mine

  1. #1
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

    Default Another Story of Mine

    All right. This is a story i have been working on typing for some time. A lot of it is backstory for a couple of my characters that are very closely connected with each other. Hope you like. As it is still a work in progress, i will be posting chapters as i get them done and edited. Comments and suggestions are very welcome.

    Wolf Wings
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter 1: The Story.

    Taliff looked around at the clearing they were resting in, deciding where to start. Anciano knew some of the tale he was about to tell but not nearly all of it. After a moment he decided that the very beginning would be the best place. “I ran away from my parents when I was just twenty-three years old,

  2. #2
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Chapter 2: The Meeting.

    It took two days to reach the swamps near the village, a distance that would have taken a good horse more than a week to traverse. Taliff landed cautiously near the mouth of the cave that they had once occupied. Anciano drew his bow as they entered slowly but the cave showed no signs of current occupation beyond that of small animals and they would not return when they caught Taliff’s scent.

    “It is very large. I am surprised it is not occupied by another by now.

  3. #3
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Chapter 3: The Request

    “I can see that he is fond of you. You have apparently done well in raising him. He speaks as if well educated and acts much like a noble would.

  4. #4
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Chapter 4: The Morning.

    “Taliff! I can’t find Wy . . . Wylirean! Where were you?

  5. #5
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    I'll comment soon as i read it, i haven't had time to sit and take it all in yet.
    Check out my eBook called How to GameMaster Online available on Amazon.com !



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  6. #6
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Finally got chapter 5 edited. . . I must have been feeling odd when i wrote this. More mistakes than most times... :-/
    ____________________________________________

    Chapter 5: The Evening

    The day was finally ending and Taliff finished his work on the roof. He had been working on it for some time, starting a while after lunch and stopping only for dinner. When he put the last nails into it, he jumped down, landing cat-like on his feet. Wylirean was asleep on one of the chairs on the porch and Anciano was fishing at the edge of the stream, just to pass the time.

    Eesha took his hand and pulled him around the house. He realized that he was in for it from the set of her shoulders and the insistence in her pull. When they reached the other side of the house she turned towards him.

    “Taliff. You need to stop pampering me and you need to stop working so hard. I don’t want your last memories with me being you working yourself to the bone.

  7. #7
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    Oh sh*%!!!!

    You had to go and leave it hanging like that... Once again you surprise me. I start off thinkin', "Uh oh, a buncha wishy wash... but, then... *poof* you get into the meat of the story and then... #bang# you bring the action to a quick peak... and then leave my arse hangin' on til whenever you get the urge to post more...
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  8. #8
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Chapter 6: The Search

    “Wylirean! Wylirean, wait.

  9. #9
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    Take yer time Ms. There's no rushing perfection, eh? I added a bit more to the Marek story but, herein lies my biggest issue, I'm horrible about starting crap and not finishing it as is evidenced by taking a few glances around here. I need to redo all our icons that i never finished doing, i gotta figure out a way to fudge a few things into place over on the website. I gotta get back to work on the openRPG tutorial pages. And those are right off the top of my head. But, tis all hobby stuff and there's no need to stress about time constraints or anything of the like.

    What i'm tryin' to say is, "No worries."

    So far as writing in dwarf, well, it would all depend on what sort of dwarf were speaking I would think. A highly educated city bred dwarf would speak more like his city dwelling neighbors and friends than say, ummm, like Bruenor Battlehammer from the forgotten realms. So, your dwarfspeak is A-ok by my account.

    A general rule for the more traditional dwarf though is this, just truncate the 'g' from any gerunds and insert an apostrophe in its place. Quick and easy. Oh yeah, throw random one or two letter words before the gerunds too. ((within reason of course, not entirely random... bah, you know what i be meanin'))

    "I'm coming, hold on, I'll save ya man!" would become, "I'm a comin' lad just you hold on, I'll be savin' ya!"

    Anyway, hope that mini lesson on dwarf speak helps at least a bit

    I like the way you resolved the capture of Wylirean quickly and efficiently. You've left open a number of possibilities for future encounters with the hunting party and i expect we'll be seeing them again soon.

    Actually, I've got a few ideas in my head as to what i'm anticipating in the near future but I can't post them as I'd hate for it to interfere with what you've already planned in your mind.

    So, I'll leave you until the next chapter.
    Check out my eBook called How to GameMaster Online available on Amazon.com !



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  10. #10
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    I actually have the next few chapters written already (i think i am up to chapter 13 in writing the story) it is just the editing that takes time. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist in it. You are correct though. There is an encounter with them a bit later (i forget which chapter it is in off hand. It isn't too far in the future, time-wise, but i can't remember for the life of me exactly which chapter it is in. I would have to look. Going to start working on editing chapter 7 and i will post it as soon as i make my way through it. Glad you are enjoying it.

    Wolf

  11. #11
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Heh. Turns out it is in the very next chapter. What can i say? I knew i had done something i just didn't know where exactly it was. Found out as soon as i started editing this chapter...

    Wolf
    __________________________________________________ _____________

    Chapter 7: The Trip To Town

    It wasn’t long before they reached the cabin and Taliff landed. Eesha and Anciano came out of the house almost instantly and both looked relieved when they saw Taliff lift Wylirean off of his back. Eesha immediately grabbed him and hugged him.

    “Are you okay?

  12. #12
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    Well now... interesting turn of events there. Totally didn't see that angle until the hunters actually arrived on the scene. Thanks for the update. I can't stand the editing part meself and usually post first, edit later. My wife's been reading over Marek portions as i type them though and I give her a pencil along with the manuscript. I kind of write the way i think and it's crazy how many errors come out when you're just tappin' away at the keys.
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  13. #13
    Celithraldor Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    I like the story so far, in case you wish to know.

  14. #14
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    oh, but no one bloody posts with comments on my story... fine, pfft.
    I Shall Rule the World; black rain and fire shall reign from the skies as the streets thy mortals have forged becomes rivers flowing continuosly with your blood. Humanity shall crumble and death and despair shall cover thy lands.Let the Black Rain fall upon all thy unbelievers.



    /me Sips the Blood of only the Purest of Souls from an ever flowing Chalice Crafted from the Bones of those who stood in His way.

    The Warden of The North
    The Royal Executioner
    The RiDDLe BoxXx

  15. #15
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Oops... Forgot to change that.

  16. #16
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Chapter 8: The Confrontation.

    Taliff landed outside the cabin and changed form. As soon as he was human again, he carried the pack inside. Eesha came up from the stream when she noticed him. He was already putting the items away when she came in.

    “What are you doing?

  17. #17
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Chapter 9: The Journey

    Taliff woke easily well before the rising of the sun and stretched his wings above them in the cave, his wingtips brushing the walls on either side. He stretched his jaws and neck then settled himself. He would wait until the others awoke before getting up. A few hours later, Anciano awoke and, soon after, Wylirean did as well. He stood and stretched his wings and neck much the way that Taliff had done. Taliff, himself, stood and walked outside to the small spring that flowed from beneath the bedrock and took a long drink. When he finished he again stretched fully in the clearing, from his tail to his head and from the tips of his wings. Before long, Anciano and Wylirean joined him. Anciano held his gear under one arm.

    “Are you ready then?

  18. #18
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Woot! Chapter 10!

    Wolf
    __________________________________________________ _____

    Chapter 10: The Return

    None of them spoke for a long moment then one that Taliff recognized as Auron asked, “When must we leave?

  19. #19
    Wolf Guest Spider. Just visiting.

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    Chapter 11: The Return Trip

    Taliff smile and hugged her again then picked her up and lifted her to his shoulders before taking flight. With her, he returned to the palace and landed before the large doors. She stayed atop him as he walked inside. Inside, she leapt down. “You know your way to your rooms. I will see you in the morning before you leave.

  20. #20
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    up through chapter 10... i coulda sworn that he was gonna go meet with some black dragons when he made the little fella stay behind... and... it just dawned on me who Taliff is in relation to another tale... yipes!
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