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Thread: We Be Goblins Saga

  1. #1
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    Default We Be Goblins Saga

    Chapter 1: We B4 Goblins!



    We be goblins, all caged up.
    Comfy home for goblin pup!
    Chew the bars, taste the rage,
    Then squirm out of baby cage.
    Prove our worth, yeah,
    that’s the plan—
    All to join great goblin clan!

    Part 1: We Be Whelps!
    A brand new group of goblins, fresh out of the whelping cage, must prove themselves to be adults by enduring and completing a set of coming-of-age challenges.

    The Licktoads make their home in Blackstump Marsh, several miles east of the town of Cavlinore along the coast of El'Marsh Lake where the Drundary River halts into a massive lake that bleeds into the surrounding lowlands creating nie impassable marshlands. The eastern shore of the El'Marsh Lake is home the Black Maw Orc Clan and the western shore is the edge of the El'Mast Forest and the edge of the Blackwood Grove, hence the name Blackstump Marsh. The Licktoad goblin tribe likes to think that it’s dominated Blacktump Marsh through fear and savagery, when in fact luck and a general lack of competition are more accurate reasons.

    As with every goblin tribe, each year, a new litter of baby goblins comes of age among the Licktoads. Dangerously hungry and mindless as infants, goblin babies spend their first years in a whelping cage. Here, they are subjected to the rule of survival, and those who want to grow up to join the tribe must dominate, overwhelm, and in many cases eat the weaker goblins they’re growing up with. Eventually, the survivors mature into the eager young monsters any goblin tribe can appreciate. Every goblin hails from these humble origins, from chieftains like Gutwad or Ripnugget to soon-to-be legendary goblin heroes like Stumpbiter, Buggy Bugeye, Poog, and that funny looking one who can do magic things. Goblin tribes traditionally present every new generation with a battery of challenges to determine each whelp’s place in the tribe, and the Licktoads are no different in this regard. To ensure their warriors are fearless (or at least good liars), they dispatch every goblin whelp on a dangerous quest to catch a toad before they can claim names for themselves and become full-fledged goblins in the tribe’s eyes.

    Of course, life goes on beyond Blackstump Marsh. Other races in the surrounding hinterlands fall in love and have babies who also grow up to fall in love. One such example is Winnius Paddlefoot and his lovely fiance, Wellma. In addition to being charming lovebirds, the two young halflings are newly appointed enforcers for the Paddlefoot crime family, a clan that has made its name extorting travelers up and down the El Marsh Lake and occasionally collecting debts for one of Cavlinore's unlikeliest (and least suspected) loan sharks, a woman named Lottie. Much of the Paddlefoot family, as well as Lottie herself, has made the trek over to the Paddlefoot farm for the happy occasion of the couple’s marriage.

    This adorable (and perhaps unexpectedly violent) union of halflings is coming to a head, by coincidence, just as the Licktoad tribe releases its newest batch of whelps into the world, and nothing makes for an exciting goblin raid like halflings, knives, and four solid feet of cake! The only thing the goblins need is an excuse to attend the joyous event, and as luck would have it, one is wandering into the marsh in a rickety wagon even as the goblin whelps depart to earn their names and a place in the world...

    You are goblins of the Licktoad Tribe. Or at least you will be someday. For now, though, you’re whelps—ravenous, amoral, grumpy goblin children who learned to stop eating rocks only a few months ago. But with every day that passes, your whelping cage seems smaller and smaller. The outside world increasingly beckons to your goblin curiosity (and appetite), but the hateful cage bars holds you at bay.

    A few other whelps flourish in the cage, even as the smaller and weaker ones are thinned out. Kettlehead stands literally head and shoulders above the competition, even Stumpbiter is small compared to his brutish size, being a goblin of impeccable flatulence and having already fashioned himself an impressive hat from a teapot left lying too close to the cages. Even adult goblins—legendary Chief Rendwattle Gutwad among them—have taken note of Kettlehead and his advanced skills of poking the rest
    of you with sticks and delivering bruise-inducing noogies.

    But today is special. Today, instead of a bucket of fish heads, whelp-wrangler Loptop has brought a key and unlocked the door to your cage. Spilling you sorry lot loose into the world for the first time. Other Licktoads gather around, eyeballing you and chewing on the fish heads that should have been yours.

    “You all are too big for cages,” Loptop snorts. “But you’re not Licktoads yet. Licktoads gotta be useful. Licktoads gotta be tough! Licktoads gotta earn their places in the tribe. And that’s what you’re gonna do now! Show us where you belong, even if that ends being the boneyard!”

    Every goblin tribe has unique traditions to mark whelps’ coming of age and to determine their roles in the clan. The Licktoads borrow a tradition used by nearby humans and force their young to earn a variety of so-called “badges” by succeeding at arbitrary and cruel tasks. More than simple patches, Licktoad badges are unique magic items, crafted largely through accident and goblin stubbornness, that grant accident-prone whelps a few second chances at survival.

    Whelp-wrangler Loptop lines the handful of goblin whelps up for their assessment, excusing Kettlehead because of his obvious superiority and remarkable headgear. After a few awkward moments being whipped with a stick to stand up straight and stay in line for inspection, She continues her inspection with tests and challenges.








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    Last edited by MTpaladin; 04-23-2019 at 11:31 PM.

  2. #2
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    "Buggley wuggley woo! I will curse you!" finally free from the cage! Buggy swings one of his magic stick like a wand. He didn't actually cast any magic.. But he had to fill up his act of being a mean evil magicen.. Bugeye always helped to strengthen the effect the centipede swirl inside his eye socket... To be true he was a little afraid of it.. Who knew when it would decide to dig deeper into his head. But you had to be strong and takes risk! That was the goblin way.. He was just about to say something else but get distracted by something Shiney on the floor and bends down to pick it up as the whipping sound is heard above his head. Loptops whip barley missed as buggy picked up a piece of useless scrap and put it in his pocket..
    Last edited by Krivak; 04-24-2019 at 07:00 PM.

  3. #3

    Default We Be Goblins Saga

    As the cage is upended Poog sees his chance! His stupider, uglier, and definitely cleaner brother is right below him... Poog lines up to land on Zoog’s back, trying to grab an ear he tried to ride him like a goblin dog.

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    It’s definitely worth losing two handfuls of dirt from his underwear stash. Bonking Zoog over the head with a stick he rides him into line with the others. While trying to make sure Zoog gets the whip more often than Poog.
    Last edited by MTpaladin; 04-25-2019 at 01:30 PM.

  4. #4

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    Keedra watches the other whelps spill out of the cage while she sucks on her last bone. When only the weakest whelps are left, she drops the now marrowless bone and scurries into line.

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  5. #5
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    Default We Be Goblins Saga

    Zoog is surprised by his annoying twin jumping on his back and riding him into line. A whip or two was taken before he makes it to the line and stands up causing Poog to slide off and splat into the mud. Zoog takes the opportunity to jump backwards and buttflop onto his brothers ugly face. He then gets a sting from Floptop’s whipping stick. It was well worth the wallop since he had a fresh and full doody in his underpants.

    “Hahahahah! You got ugly face!” Zoog laughs and points as he stands in line pointing at his twin.

    “We got the same face you dummy!” Poog muffles as he wipes the ichor from his face and flings it back at him.

    “Nuh uh! you got doody face!”

    Floptop shouts commands and wildly swings her whip-stick as she wrangles the newly released whelps. She will have her work cut out for her with this rowdy lot.


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    Last edited by MTpaladin; 04-25-2019 at 02:26 PM.

  6. #6

    Default We Be Goblins Saga

    Stumpbiter tries to bite Floptop and staying out way of twins. Looks at Kindra and starts to rage.


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  7. #7
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    Buggy walks up to the twins and and snarls "Either you stop or i'll let bugeye eat one of your eyes!" Bugeye crawls out of the eye pocket and stretch out at em biting with his little teeth
    "His hungry for eyes!" He points at Zoog "Your right eye" then points at Poog "And your left eye!"

  8. Default We Be Goblins Saga

    Furback Glump snorts in his sleep and rolls over, ignoring the ruckus for the moment as he sleepily stuffs a rotten mushroom cap into his mouth. Blinking groggily, he notices that the cage door is open and his goblin cousins roughhousing in the open space beyond. Was it time already?

    With a belch, he sits up, scratching his shoulder where even now stubbly hair sprouts. Squinting around to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything, Glump stands and shuffles out of the cage, shouldering his way to the front, cuffing his smaller cousins as he goes. He stands with his arms crossed, protecting his space, and belches in boredom.

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  9. #9
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    Default We Be Goblins Saga

    “Alright you sorry lot!” Floptop rasped. “Are you ready to become members of the most feared and vicious goblin tribe this side of the Hruesen River?” She waits for a moment as she walks along the line sizing up each whelp. After either not hearing a loud enough answer or any answer at all she shouts, “what’s that? I can’t hear you!!”

    “Yeah!!!!” The group of whelps shouts in unison.

    “Good!! Because that is what you are going to do. But first you have to past a number of tests to show that you are Licktoad worthy!” She continues to pace back and forth along the line. She motions to two lackeys to bring over the crates. They set a crate in front of each whelp.

    “Your first test is to prove your mastery over dangerous creatures by attempting to tie a leash to a particularly large spider. Each crate has a large spider for you to catch. Each whelp to catch their spider will be given a spider bite Licktoad badge earning you one step closer to being a full member of the tribe. Now catch your spiders!” She commands signifying everyone to take the lids off of their crates and attempt to snare their spiders.





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  10. #10

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    *Tie leash to corpse,* Keedra thinks as she pulls the lid off her crate and sends a ray of fire at the spider. *Easier to catch when dead. Floptop not say spider gots to be alive.*

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    Last edited by shadowthebard; 04-27-2019 at 05:04 AM.

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