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Thread: Best Moments

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Vancouver, B.C. Canada
    Blog Entries


    On Roll20 I play a Human Druid with the Mobile Feat. I was adding the +10 speed modifiers to my animal sheets mid-session while the DM was doing some character development stuff for other players. While updating Octopus, I realized that it's speed goes from 5ft to 15ft... So I sort of whisper to myself in my character's voice "I am the fastest octopus.". Mic was not muted. DM was temporarily broken.

    I think in the same session another character got her drunk (up until that point she only drank juice at the inns) and to sober her up they stuck her in a bath. The Dad!Friend of the group brought her up some tea after her bath. I mimed grabbing the mug with both hands. DM had me throw a dex save to catch the towel, and the Dad!Friend to throw a wisdom save to look away. Both failed. Dad!Friend tucked the druid into bed and went to have a cold shower.

  2. #12


    My younger sisters and I have had a lot of interesting moments while playing D&D, but I think the best one so far has been when we did a hostage negotiation with a bunch of man-eating selkies. I stole their leader's sealskin and my youngest sister tempted them with Cheese Curls and funnel cakes. Eventually we got them to release the people they'd captured and never try to eat anybody again; in exchange I gave the leader her skin back and the owner of the beach's snack shack promised them free junk food for life.

  3. #13


    Today my littlest sister wanted me to run a solo session for her. I didn't have anything prepared and was too tired to wing it, so I decided to let her sort of play-test a one-shot I'm writing on where the player(s) are trying to clear out a castle that's been taken over by food. I read her the little introduction speech and then set the scene for her. The castle is in front of her, behind a moat of bouillabaise. She decides to float across on a chunk of potato. Smart. Then a mussel attacks her, and...

    She throws a chunk of potato at it. Soft, boiled, herby potato. It doesn't work so well.

    She manages to escape the mussel and make it to the other side of the moat. She decides to explore the gardens out back before she goes inside. At one point she's escaped by a plant. I'm not gonna say which plant because I might run the mission on here some time and don't want to give out too many spoilers. Anyways, the plant is attacking her, and...

    She whacks it with her back pack.

    At this point she was really low on health and panicking, and I couldn't figure out why she was making such dumb decisions. I asked her why she didn't use one of her actual weapons. Her response? "Oh, right. I forgot I had those."

    Yep. That's why she was assaulting food with more food and accessories. She'd forgotten that her esteemed adventurer was carrying weapons. After we had a good laugh she drew her scimitar and hacked up the violent vegetation and healed herself up, and all was well. But I'm going to start encouraging her to look over her sheet before she takes any moves in combat anymore, at least until she has a better feel for her character and what she can do.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Another castle.


    (Pardon the poor formatting, this was copied from Facebook Messenger. I apologize for any typos or bad grammar that occur, I cleaned it up as best I could and I hope you enjoy the read).

    Edit: I forgot to apologize for how cringy some of the dialogue is going to be since I was trying super hard to be a dick during the conversation.

    I haven't been in that many games on TTW, and a lot of people that are likely to remember things that have occurred in those games.

    Instead, I feel like sharing a conversation that I had with a IRL DM in a Pathfinder (I mean... 5e) game that I participated in a couple of years ago. This conversation was not only a turning point for the character, but also a turning point in my career as a roleplayer. Up until this point, most of my characters were dark, brooding edgelords who only cared for themselves. This exchange helped me learn that there are character types that can be just as fun to play.

    For some context to the situation, the character, Zaniah Gavriel (known only as Crow at the time) was a level 3 monk/warrior that I purposefully made blind. A quick recap of his backstory had him as the second son of a paladin captain that was obsessed with training his two sons as his successors. At a point in his teen years, my character stumbled upon his brother attempting to summon a demon one night. Before Zaniah could stop him, the demon appeared, killed his brother and clawed out Zaniah's eyes before vanishing. He was found by his father and banished from the city, blamed for his brother's death.

    When the campaign started, he had returned to the city to exact vengeance on his father for abandoning him to the world. When he returned, his father had gone senile and didn't remember him. Deciding that his vengeance would only be satiated by killing the current leader of the paladins, he sought an audience with the current captain. During this meeting, it was revealed to him that his brother was still alive, being kept in the basement. After a very awkward family reunion, since his brother was part demon now, the "thing" broke free and assaulted the town by opening a portal to some demon realm. The following happened after the party managed to stop the demon incursion...

    Begin Scene:
    [You find yourself within a dimly lit stone walled room, with a small torchlight flickering from the barred doorway. The mutterings of several guardsmen can be heard down the corridor from the doorway, as several footsteps near. With a clank, two paladins bearing the marks of the Holy Word enter. One holds ink, quill, and parchment that he promptly lays out across the table you are seated before, the other speaking clearly and dignified.]
    [The dignified paladin coughs before speaking.] "For the record, please state your name". [The scribe places the quill to parchment, awaiting a response].

    [Crow instinctively spits.] "And who are you that I should give it?"

    [The scribe wipes away the spit from his parchment, as the other paladin continues] "We are the guards in charge of the investigation into the creature that appeared within the city walls. After numerous interviews, you have been identified as one of those involved in the conflict, on the side of protecting the city."

    [Crow sits up.] "Have I now? Well... it's been awhile since anyone identified me anything other than an 'easy target'." [He raises his hand in greeting.] "Crow."

    [The scribe scribbles down the name near a likeness that was previously there.] "Thank you. Understand now that you are not in trouble, nor do you have anything to fear from us, lord Gavriel. Quite the opposite. But we require your statement before proceedings can continue. Please, from the time you neared the estate, please elaborate what occurred."

    [Crow's face turns slightly at this.] "Lord Gavriel?" You must have me confused for someone else... in any event, I suppose I might as well recount what took place at the estate. You'll have to forgive me though, [points to his eyes, or lack thereof] my recollection may be a bit skewed."

    [You hear the scribe putting you words to parchment] "We...are aware of your background sir. Please continue. We only seek to illuminate the events. Should you prefer a different title, we can address you as such."

    [Crow continues "looking" somewhat annoyed by paladin.] And who, pray tell, made you aware of my background? Look at me! [He grabs his clothes and pulls them slightly in the direction of the voice.] "Do I look like a lord to you?"

    [The guard stands stern, his voice solidifying] "Your father, my lord. In one of his moments of clarity, he wrote to us, letting us know you had returned, and with it, his will was attached. It will be awaiting you, once we have completed our investigation."

    "By the gods, I should have ended him when I had the chance. Even in his current state, he continues to muck with my affairs." "Fine, if you address me as such, then before we discuss the events of the day, I wish to know how my... {cough} comrades... are faring."

    [The paladin before you eases, his voice softening] "Your..companions are fine. They are giving their statements as we speak, to ensure we have the full picture. You are all to be treated as heroes, should the Mayor have his way, and deservedly so, my lord. Though I must ask that you not threaten our former knight commander. It would sour the public opinions of your...."group". We are inquisitors, and simply seek to reward the truth."

    "If you are truly aware of my history, sir, then you would be quite aware of why I address him so." "Now, to get a couple of things out of the way." [Crow shifts his weight.] "First, I find it irritating that members of your order, inquisitors no less, are willing to address someone such as me, with no faith or interest in their god, a "lord"?" "Second, as my friends will attest, I am the cause of... whatever it is that befell this city. Why would the mayor seek to reward something like that?"

    [The scribe, a surprised look upon his face, continues to write, his quill scratching across the parchment's surface.] "Allow me to inform you as to the whys and whos. You were born to the paladin order, under our former Knight Commander Gavriel. That tie, empowered by his last will and testament, names you his successor, and holder of the estate. It is his will, in his clarity, that you improve the Estate standard, but are otherwise free to continue your endeavors. A large sum will be granted, the last holdings of your fathers within the city. Now to your second inquiry. The Mayor wishes, based on your description of the events, still pending, to reward you in the public eye, and to allow your family name a restoration of honor."

    "As... peculiar as his wishes are, the name 'Gavriel' deserves to rot in the gutter along with the man that gave it to me. Thus, we shall discuss the events at the estate, and then we'll see whether or not I'm interested in his last attempt at repentance."

    [The paladin nods, taking note to continue the deed and will for another time.] "As you wish. Now, please, describe the events in detail, from the time you neared the estate of our Knight Commander Garrus."

    "My apologies for stalling, but what did happen to Garus? Last I heard, he'd fallen during the attack."

    [The paladin's voice seems hesitant, surprised by your question.] "Lord Garrus sits within a healing tomb, as our clergyman do their best to bring him from the brink. We believe he will be unable to return to his station for some time, and an adjunct will be chosen."

    [Crow smirks.] "The lucky bastard..." "Well... I'm afraid there's not much to tell, and what there is to tell won't be sugar-coated. If you know my history, you can understand why I would have come back to town to kill... my father. When I found him in his current state, I couldn't bring myself to do it, due to obvious feelings of having my revenge taken from me. With nothing else to do, I decided to mark Garrus as my new target and use my name to gain access to his estate. Upon entry, I was taken to... "see"... him and, instead of having the bloody encounter I was anticipating, I found my brother chained up in his study. Rather, what was left of my brother. After a long discussion, and a very difficult session of rage suppression, I attacked the thing he had captive in that room. What happened after I plunged the knife provided by Garrus into that monster's side, I have no idea. I awoke to the situation you're already aware of, and defended myself and my acquaintances accordingly."

    [The scribe continues to write, his mouth agape, as the paladin beside him inquires] "You were plotting to defeat our Knight Commander? Hmmm.... be that as it may, I have strict orders to pardon any wrong doings of yourself or your father. I...understand your feelings, and the remembrance of revenge, though the word that your brother remained within the estate, in an apparent "infected" state, is worrisome and concerning. We shall further investigate this, but I believe we have what we require regarding the battle." [The paladin slides a letter across the table] " his last will. I recommend to have someone you trust to read it aloud. Your presence is requested humbly at the celebration of you and your companions saving the city, at which time you are to be named the title Protectorate of Meleaus. Will you be in attendance?"

    "Yes, it was somewhat disturbing that Garus had kept the thing in his home for so long, but who was I to question it when he delivered my brother to me? ... As far as the letter goes, if it must be read, than be on with it. I clearly have no desire to hear his words, so what does it matter who reads it?"

    [The paladin retrieves the letter, clearing his throat before reading aloud] "In this, the 223rd year of our Lord Ux, I, Elian Gavriel the Second, in my short time of clarity, do write this final will and testament of heir in which my known title and belongings shall pass to the following: 1) The estate shall remain within the name Gavriel, so long as my son, the youngest Gavriel, only recently returned that I recall, will have it. In addition, he shall be awarded one sixth share of my remaining city holdings, in the amount of 3,000 gold pieces, to be used in small part to restore the estate, with the remaining 1500 gold pieces to be used at his discretion. 2) To the others who visited my estate, as described in the attached letter herein[which goes on to describe the party members], you are to be awarded the remaining portions of equaling 1500 gold piece value, to be used as deemed fit, with the smallest member being requested that she purchase some more wine. 3) To the Paladin Order of the Holy Word, I do leave my final armaments and armor, as they had protected me for so long, so shall they protect their next owner. If my youngest heir shall rejoin the ranks of the order, and I have no mind to force the point, he may do so at the rank of officer, and be awarded my sword. Should he not, the items are to be donated to the Order, so that they may continue to serve. 4) For the last, and final piece, I leave a painting to my son, depicting the last time that our family was together. I know that his sight shall not return, and that my own blindness to my son remains the cause, but perhaps this painting could remain upon the estate property, to show that all was not always as it is now. Signed, Elian Gavriel, Twelfth Knight Commander of the Holy Word, in the city of Meleaus."

    [After the paladin finishes speaking, Crow remains motionless for several moments, aside from alternating between gritting his teeth and grinning.]

    [The scribe completes his details, before sliding the parchment to you, moving your hand toward the signature line] "We simply require your signature, and all will be complete."

    [Crow calms down momentarily.] "The will, or my testimony?"

    "That, my lord, is entirely up to you."

    [Crow grins again.] "For ten years, I have cursed him and his order. Ten years, I imagined parading into his courtyard and slaying him for what he did to me. I supposed there's a certain level of irony involved in this particular homecoming that has taken place, but where in his drunken, shattered mind, goes he have the gall to dream that I would rejoin 'the ranks', or still have the faith required to do so?"

    "Ours is not to elaborate, my lord. Your father has written his design, and it did include a distinct lack of belief of your rejoining. The option remains open, should you find your path. Until that time, the sword remains within the order."

    [Crow laughs at this statement.] "My path is wrapped in eternal darkness, no matter how much of his accursed light he attempts to shine on me. The money and place to live are welcome changes to my current state of affairs, however, your order can keep his trinkets, and the mayor can keep his title. Pending a visit from Ux himself, my ability to consider your organization anything other than a blight is quite solidified. I am the very embodiment of the 'good' the order is capable of, and I will not have a hand in it."

    [The paladin stiffens slightly] "The order has changed greatly over the last ten years my lord, and the old destructive ways were abolished. Garrus was the last of that line, and we seek an adjunct to one day replace him. The mayor has arranged for your title to remain, even should you choose not to invoke it. But know that the title is detached from our Order, and is not optional within the city. You've simply been seen during the battle by too many. Should you leave the title behind, the common people of Meleaus will still speak your name, I am afraid."

    [Crow continues smirking.] "Garrus spoke too of your orders restructuring, but at this juncture, I have neither the will nor the means to 'see' your organization in any other light. And speaking of the order, how is it that you can abide someone who views you in such a manner? Why should I trust that the document you want me to sign isn't an admittance of guilt and a swift walk to the gallows? Why, after all that I have said, do you continue to address me in such a manner?"

    [The paladin stands, preparing to leave] "That is simple, young man. We honor our Code. And we honor our past. As to your sight, there may be ways, but that will take time. We have others in our order with a similar affliction. As to your accusations of falsehoods, I cannot abide by them, and can only assure you of our intentions."

    ((I would like to pause this retelling to draw attention to what was going on with me as the player at the time. Up until this point in the campaign, I was completely focused on playing this brooding, dark anti-hero and was hellbent on pissing this inquisitor off. I wanted him to stop referring to Crow as "Lord Gavriel". In my eyes, Zaniah had had his pride and honor as a paladin-to-be shattered when his father disowned him, and no member of his order deserved any sort of respect. When my DM delivered that line... 'We honor our Code. And we honor our past.', I realized that I had to make a choice. Zaniah would only be able to reattain his honor in full if he showed respect to this man. To continue disrespecting him in order to stick it to his father would make him a massive hypocrite and unworthy of the honor he sought. So... I made my choice.))

    [Crow's tone softens and he sits up straight.] "Give the testimony here, and I will sign it... Leave the will here, and I will dwell on it. I doubt that the rest of 'them' will let me skip out on the festivities, so I will be in attendance. Do not think that your honor means nothing to me, Inquisitor, but the Code you uphold is the same that my father quoted to me the day before this [points again to his face] happened, and ten years is a long time to stew in the dark."

    [The scribe hands over the will patents, and the testimony to sign] "I assure, lord, that we agree on that fact truly."

    [You are handed the details of the festivities and the scribe speaks over them in turn]

    [Crow signs the testimony to the best of his ability, and listens somewhat intently to the scribe as he turns the will over and over in his hands.]

    "Now, I believe everything is in order, and you only have to return here to complete the will, should you desire. Do you require anything else, my lord?"

    "All that I require now is time to make sense of it all, and a chance to relocate my path, since it has gone in a direction I didn't think possible."

    [The paladin nods, his voice stern] "As you wish, you shall be provided a guide to return to the estate or wherever you choose. Good day."
    [End Scene]
    Last edited by Xubrai; 06-12-2018 at 04:02 AM.
    See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.

  5. #15


    We accidentally started a cult in Altar of the Sleepless once. We had infiltrated a city overrun by a goblin army, and we needed somebody to distract a group of looters while we rescued some of the surviving townsfolk. So the Astral Deva flew out into the open, pretended to be a goddess of war who was pleased with the goblins' bravery, and rained gold upon them. My halfling sorcerer hid in the background and used Ghost Sound to make it sound like an invisible choir of goblin angels was singing in the background. The distraction worked, the townsfolk were rescued, we went off to do more adventuring, etc.

    Anyways, about a week or so later (in game time, not real life) we pass by the town again and find out there's been a schism in the goblin army. Turns out half the goblins started a cult dedicated to our astral "War Goddess". The other goblins didn't appreciate the cult's formation and, apparently, chaos and infighting ensued.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Around the 4th moon
    Blog Entries


    Have two moments.. One was when playing d&d and my cleric toghter with his companions were fighting a giant.. Like crusting a fly he killed my cleric.. But with all the Good deeds and servitude for his god it was a 4% chanse for him to be saved.. He was saved by his god.. Then smashed.. Saved.. Smashed.. Saved (the dm did not hide the dice..) then one of the companions got a critical with a vorpal sword and killed the giant... Imagen the confused giant face when he couldn't crush the little cleric.

    Second would be my fabulous rogue.. Crazy like no other.. They were down in a mountain where a evil dragon lived.. They found a pool with magical powers and with 1% chance to turn the person into a living God.. Or be cursed with some kind of effect.. Crazy as he were.. He touched the pool and started to smell like a rotten corpse.. Touched again and his skin would start to desolve if fresh water would touch it.. Again he put his hand into the pool.. He could now talk with dragons telepathic with his mind.. He touched again and he died and became a ghost.. He could no longer touch the pool... But he will forever plauge the dragon with his smell and from distance with his madness

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