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Erran

Reading a dance of flames

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It is not any fire, this magic works with. One must use a fuel that knows of the things asked about. And in my case, as what the trees let go so far is, obviously, something I cannot count on in the future I am trying to pry in, it would have to be living wood. But... you know I can´t harm a tree, so... I figured, instead, I could use a fire already magical - some warmth from my heart; you know, where I keep my dream of becoming role-player. And it would not be lost, because I´ll just put it back when I finish. Make sure you do so too, if you repeat the experiment, ok? It would work, because what I have to ask of is about role-play, and about a light-side heart thing - having fun. Right, now let´s see... :::: :::: :::: :::: I´m ready. So, my request is: ¨Please, show me how all aspects of play combine to keep us entertained, happy! Please, show me the having of fun at role-play!¨. Now we wait a while, for the flames to warm up a bit, so to speak, to the topic. Better not let the mind wander while waiting - this cantrip does have a concentration tag; but it doesn´t have to take any forcing either: it´s something I earnestly want to find out, right? Oh, and one more thing, as shadows gather around the flames, it may be best to not pay them any attention. They´d probably be up to their usual tricks and misleading. It helps if one has something to concentrate on, less vague than my topic up there, I mean, like... a spell-casting focus, a symbol. And what would be better in this case than a piece of what others do? you know, as my future, will probably have much of others´ past. So I chose a few random posts here at ttw; mostly pbp ones. :::: :::: :::: :::: At first, the flames did not explain anything. They just took turns at throwing light over one or another aspect of story play. And I saw the importance given to matching wits with the challenges that a character has to face; I saw that role-play is often limited to a colouring of the description of one´s actions, seldom touching on feelings; I also saw how strange, sometimes, can feel when players attempt more (or too much?), adding events of their own, or taking extended time with their characters´ feelings and thoughts - sometimes as if one witnesses more than one story taking place; then I saw how much the quality of role-play seems to depend on the depth of a character´s definition, and of a player´s being conscious of that depth; then the flames showed me how often do interactions among characters seem to take place along common lines, the different mostly being found with the difficulty of challenges; I was also shown how admirable some game masters manage to keep in hand the flow of events, while giving the players enough freedom to feel that their contribution to the story line matters; and I was shown other things that I could not yet make anything of - and the flames caught on and went through those last visions quicker. Then their light turned towards me, towards what I want. Again, not something I could see with much clarity, given that having fun would not depend on me alone in group story play, and thus, the me which best fits those circumstances is still a stranger, but certainly a matter of no little importance. The flames, at least, insisted on giving my own wishes as answer, at this time. :::: :::: :::: :::: So what would make me happy? I thought for a while, and this word kept coming up - ¨interaction¨, but not of any quality, or - perhaps better put - kind. I must, no doubt, desire to be among my own kind, in words, and that probably is not something from down here, a matter of the usual circumstances of life; be it ooc stuff or fantasy setting trials. And what is up then? I believe, it has to do with the finer things of life, with refinement which arrives to us by inspiration, in a word: ¨beauty¨. And to combine the two heart desires: to interact in the beauty, to share it. I could say little more. Mostly because these words have only been gathered down here, where much of me is, a me that only aspires to the grace, and light from above. A me who seems to reach it only so seldom, and by great effort; one could say, even, sacrifice. I am wondering if the effort made to learn about dnd and how to role-play is enough... Probably isn´t, probably it´s just the crude beginning of hardship. No gain without paying the price. Oh, I know, I assumed the authority, in a previous post, and claimed that I should be ready, having just reached some familiarity with the rules of dnd, to spread my wings of imagination and be on equal terms with others in the freedom of crafting a group story. But most likely, aside from the effect of boosting my morale, it was foolishness. And it suits my means more a position of modesty, one to which even thoughts of great effort or sacrifice are not suitable. You know... I think my eyes slid towards the shadows slightly... I can´t escape, now, seeing the wrong of any line of thought which begins with me. I´ll turn towards the flames once more, to see if they have anything else to say. :::: :::: :::: :::: To be in control, oh, how comfortable it feels, isn´t it? To be sure. To own, to know you can always depend on something. But likely, unless I would trade my freedom, and with it - the chance at inspiration, for a bunch of learned stuff - which could only make an impression good enough if large in quantity and clever in variation (not my usual sizes), as I said - likely - is that I may only approach playing a group role in faith alone, unprepared more than by being able to write things which bare some similarity to what others write. And I will have to play under the standard of my dreams, while waiting for more. A flame jumped and bit me here. That will leave a small mark... Hm... They must have wanted to make a point of that... But... What do you know?! It is writing... It says: I will find my joy in approaching role-play with the heart open. And I think: once I have seen enough. The flames allow it. There is no rush. :::: :::: :::: :::: It seems that all the flames, the words could do was give my own thoughts and feelings a space in which to stretch out and seek an arrangement with some meaning. They play now, twisting, juggling with all that was said, waiting for me to make up my mind, and it may be that any choice of what the future could look like is just as good from where they are standing; of course as long as it promises that I will have fun. And I should expect no more from them. ¨Here¨ - I point to the chest - ¨here¨, ¨I understand now. It´s time to move on.¨ And flames, and meanings, one by one swirl, lengthen, and, with a gentle, warm tickling, return home. To give them time to settle in, I take back to the road with a slow pace. I have selected a few random posts, hoping to reach the essence of others´ skill, and next - that of role-play in general, in one stroke. Now that it didn´t happen, I can only stick to that goal as to something distant, a thing to aim for along my road forward, to the horizon, and I will proceed towards it, from here on, with that familiar, measured step of patient analysis. I will have as guidelines the sights discovered to me by the flames, at first, and as a soul companion, in the next trials of learning, the joy from the colours and shine of all writing, here at ttw, and then perhaps farther, that the flames will guide my eyes to. My last thoughts, as I part with this place of insights, reach towards the authors, the players I will get to meet through their work, in gratitude... ~

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Updated 01-29-2018 at 06:01 PM by Erran

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